10 June 2014
As an English teacher in South Korea, my South African brain has had to deal with major culture shock the last two years; some things more mind-blowing than others:
1. Confused borrowed etiquette. Coffee is generally served in tea cups and tea served in coffee mugs.
2. All meals must be eaten in exactly 15 minutes or less. And no talking. Also, cut your food with scissors.
3. Slurping noodles is considered rude by “traditional etiquette standards”, but is widely practiced and grating “shlurp” sounds should always be expected. Same goes for chewing with your mouth open.
4. A popped “personal space bubble” – especially on public transport where you are surrounded by countless other bodies, touching arms or shoulders is really no biggie. Oh, and don’t expect an apology if someone bumps into you.
5. Konglish e.g. SF (sci-fi movie), eye-shopping (window shopping), arbeit (part time job), apart (apartment), heart-a-beat-a (nerves/fear), fry (fried egg), fat size (clothing sizes for larger-than-Korean people)… and the list goes on.
6. Feet. DO NOT expose your toes to your students or colleagues, EVER! Wear socks, even those semi-transparent nylon socks. Unless you don’t mind the looks and whispers.
7. Elevators. DO NOT speak while inside an elevator. Just don’t. Stare only at the wall, the mirror, the floor or the ceiling. No eye-contact is allowed.
8. Driving. Drive faster than the speed limit at all times, but break hard before every speed camera (the GPS already knows the location of all the speed cameras). Also, hoot while the traffic light is still red to make sure the cars in front of you are ready to screech out of the starting position when the light turns green. Or just ignore red lights altogether and just drive around the pole to avoid the cameras.
9. Ajummas (old women). If you are an old woman, you may walk wherever you please, including in the middle of the road. You may also push anyone out of the way, skip queues, bump violently into any people who don’t move out of your way and always stare openly at foreigners (with your mouth wide open for better effect).
And these are only the tip of the iceberg… I haven’t even mentioned the Darth-Vader-style sun visors, the very mini skirts, the perms (from toddlers to pop stars), the rice fascination, the obsession with all things “pamous” (famous) and the skin-whitening suncream. Come for a visit, I’m sure you’ll soon discover a whole lot more South Korean charm.